So, t'other night I watched Transformers 3: Dark Side of the Moon. I'll be honest, I wasn't expecting much from it, the other two films in this franchise have been pretty poor in my opinion, especially the second one. So imagine my surprise when it actually turned out to be a decent film! I mean, don't get me wrong, nobody is winning any Oscars for it, that's for sure but it definitely entertained me, which was just as well because it was almost three hours long and there's only so much giant robot fighting I can sit through. After I'd watched it, I began to ponder whether it was actually any better than the other two or not. The conclusion that I've come to is that it isn't, not really.
So why did I enjoy it more than the other two then? I believe the reasons for this are twofold. Firstly, I watched it in HD which made a HUGE difference because those big ass robots looked amazing! Secondly, I've seen loads of B-movies! Allow me to explain this second point.
See, B-movies are, by their very nature, shit. Even the best ones are so entertainingly awful it's untrue. Believe me, once you've seen Drive Thru, nothing else will seem quite as shit ever again! It's true! This is why I think I enjoyed Transformers 3 so much, my idea of what makes a film shit has shifted over the past few months as I've trawled some truly epic depths of shite celluloid.
I think that experience has removed some of my movie snobbery and showed me that sometimes even Shia Leboeuf can't make a film shit. Actually, I'm lying, he still can. Not as much as Nicholas Cage though, but it's close! Anyway, the point is that if you want to enjoy those tiresome CGI blockbusters even more, you have to watch the B-movie crap too!
Believe me when I say that everyone should experience Drive Thru and Plan 9 From Outer Space. Once you have, you'll judge every other film less harshly, I promise. Even M. Night Shayamalan films; you know them, they're the ones where Bruce Willis looks confused a lot, Mel Gibson has a go at aliens instead of Jews and Mark Whalberg is bothered by some trees. Okay, well maybe not them, but MOST other films pale in comparison to Drive Thru and Plan 9!
As for Transformers 3, would I recommend it? Well, I think that if you love big giant robots kicking each other in the nuts A LOT, annoying franchise ruining leading men, and pointless, if aesthetically pleasing English girls, Transformers 3 could well be your huckleberry!
You should DEFINITELY watch Drive Thru though!
Peace out, bitches!
Kenny!
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| The perils of doing your make up while driving |
See, B-movies are, by their very nature, shit. Even the best ones are so entertainingly awful it's untrue. Believe me, once you've seen Drive Thru, nothing else will seem quite as shit ever again! It's true! This is why I think I enjoyed Transformers 3 so much, my idea of what makes a film shit has shifted over the past few months as I've trawled some truly epic depths of shite celluloid.
I think that experience has removed some of my movie snobbery and showed me that sometimes even Shia Leboeuf can't make a film shit. Actually, I'm lying, he still can. Not as much as Nicholas Cage though, but it's close! Anyway, the point is that if you want to enjoy those tiresome CGI blockbusters even more, you have to watch the B-movie crap too!
Believe me when I say that everyone should experience Drive Thru and Plan 9 From Outer Space. Once you have, you'll judge every other film less harshly, I promise. Even M. Night Shayamalan films; you know them, they're the ones where Bruce Willis looks confused a lot, Mel Gibson has a go at aliens instead of Jews and Mark Whalberg is bothered by some trees. Okay, well maybe not them, but MOST other films pale in comparison to Drive Thru and Plan 9!
As for Transformers 3, would I recommend it? Well, I think that if you love big giant robots kicking each other in the nuts A LOT, annoying franchise ruining leading men, and pointless, if aesthetically pleasing English girls, Transformers 3 could well be your huckleberry!
You should DEFINITELY watch Drive Thru though!
Peace out, bitches!
Kenny!
Bravo Kenny, Bravo!
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