Royal Fail

So I guess it was too much to ask of me to restrict my blogs to a monthly thing.  As those of you closest to me will know, I talk pretty much all of the time.  I even sometimes talk in my sleep, in between the snoring and the not actually sleeping, that is.  Whatever, the fact remains that I do talk a lot and I have a feeling this obsession/habit/charming personality quirk is going to spill over into my blogging too.  Which can only be cool for you lot because at least you'll have something to read, right?


So as some of you may have guessed from the title (and some of you will know because of my complaining), this post is going to be about Royal Mail, or the Post Office as they are known these days.  That must be because they are so shit, even the queen doesn't want to be associated with them, and let's face it, if the royal family can make money from it, they will.  Not so the Post Office though.  At least, not anymore.

Now some of you may bitch and moan about me having a pop at the royal family, and some of you might moan that you know people who work for the Post Office and that it's shit pay and crappy hours and blahdy blahdy blah.  Usually, I'd be a little more tolerant.  I would, honest.  Here's the thing though readers, the Post Office interefered with my gaming.  This will not do.

I love gaming, I love my Xbox 360 and I love RPG's (Role Playing Games).  For the uninitiated, an RPG is not some sexy time spice up, well, it is, but not the kind I'm talking about right now.  I'm talking about an RPG video game; specifically, Deus Ex: Human Revolution.  I have been well excited about this game for ages.  I loved the original and even liked the crappy sequel.  So when I learned that this one was going to be almost as good as the original, I was hooked!  I eagerly logged onto Play.com (can I get commission from them for advertising on here?  Hmmm...) and bought my shiny pre-order copy!

A pre-order copy is important, let me tell you.  First of all, you get the game a full day before it comes out and as anyone who's a true gamer geek can tell you, that MATTERS!  Secondly (and this is the really cool part!) you get extra content!  Oh yes, I know you're hooked now, right!?  So anyway, I ordered my game, it accepted my card (always a sweaty, nervous moment) and everything was hunky dory!  I sat back well chuffed with myself and dreamed of being augmented.

Tuesday 23rd August; I awoke to find an e-mail from Play.com that happily and proudly told me my game had been dispatched.  I got excited again and realised that if they'd dispatched it on Tuesday, that meant it would come on Thursday, because you always get your game the day before release if you pre-order.  This was great news!

So Thursday arrived and I bounded to the front door to get the mail as eager as a politician in a brothel!  My game wasn't there.  No matter, I thought, it might come with the (much fabled) later post.  The time slot for the later post came and went and my game still hadn't arrived.  I have to admit, I was glum and feeling deflated but all was not lost.  It just meant I'd be playing the game on day of release instead of the day before.  I could handle that, so with my nerd rage placated, I got on with my day.

Friday arrives.  I bounded down to the front door like a puppy with new shoes to chew!  My game wasn't there.  It wasn't there.  It was day of release and it wasn't there.  I was distraught.  I was as gutted as I was when I saw what they'd done to Venom in Spiderman 3.  I was as shattered as when I saw the re-vamped Mini Cooper Daleks on Doctor Who.  Alright, it wasn't that bad, but I was miserable and chunnering all day.  How fecking rude of the Post Office to not only fail to deliver my parcel on the day it should have arrived, but to fail to deliver it the next day too!  Gah!!  This time my nerd rage knew no bounds.  I hopped on my laptop, headed straight for Play.com's FAQ page to see if I could 'lodge my complaint on the internet' to paraphrase Comic Book Guy.

Play.com couldn't help.  I had to wait the standard 21 days before I could report it missing.  Twenty one days.  I could have gone to town and bought the game today.  I could be playing it now instead of inflicting this petty post on my blog, BUT NO!!  I have to wait for my game to come.  Woe betide the Post Office if that Jiffy Bag is not sat in my mum's weird mail catching basket tomorrow...err...later on today!

So, by now you're no doubt wondering why the hell you just wasted five minutes of perfectly good nose picking time, reading a post in which Kenny whines about not getting his game on time and spat his dummy out with Royal Fail, right?  Of course you are.

Me too!  Hope you enjoyed it anyway!  Until next time!


Heiwa no uchi, guchi!!!


Kenny